Serendipity

The act of finding something good without looking for it.

Today is my lucky day. Well, it truth, they’re all pretty lucky in one way or another.  I bought a scratch off ticket today and won $25.  I’ve never won more than $5 on those stupid things!  But today I knew I would, because today was a lucky day.  I signed the lease for my new apartment today.  And everything felt just right.  I found this incredible place to live in Chatham.  It’s the back of an old 1700’s farm house.  The owners live in the front and they have been very welcoming to us.  Actually, everywhere we go in Chatham, people have been particularly nice! But I wasn’t looking to move to Chatham.  Everyone that knows me knows that I have been determined to move to the Adirondack Mountains. I have loved those mountains with a defiantly passionate heart for about 30 years.  I have taken a breath in the mountain air and felt the true peace of home.  I have shared the Adirondacks with people that I love and I have lost my heart in those mountains several times. I knew that I needed to be there all the time… until I just couldn’t.  You see, my dogged attempts to move there continued to present with one problem after another. I found some great places to live but each time it came down to the wire, something changed, rent increases, unreasonable leases arrangements, and too many compromises. I realized that the Universe was trying to tell me something.  After being frustrated in my quest and really not knowing what to do next, I decided that sometimes, maybe, we don’t choose the road.  The road chooses you.  I threw up my arms and asked the powers that be to guide my path.  I looked on the Albany Craigslist, for some unknown reason, and found this place. I went to see it and the world around me just clicked. It felt right, very right.  So Chatham it is. 

Serendipity.. the act  of finding something good without looking for it. I have always believed that I was the master of my own destiny.  I was in charge of how my life would take shape.  (Well, clearly, I have not been in control of all aspects of my life!!). But in general, I think we have the power to make things happen..  or do we?  Is it serendipity or fate?  Do we have a choice or is the road we take set out before us?  Are we offered the possibilities of free will only to decide what ultimately brings us closest to our desires?  A good friend once talked to me of serendipity.  I thought of Serendipity as beautifully colored fish shaped opportunities swimming by, just waiting for me to pluck them from the air and begin new adventures. But has every fish that I have chosen, already had my name on it? For the lessons that I must learn while I am here?  Serendipity versus Fate?   (and that’s not even taking into account the not so good things that happen. .. bad decision or karma?)   Is it one or the other or is it just happenstance, coincidence, stuff? I think for a little while, I’m going to take a deep breath and relax!  I’m going to stop working so hard to make my puzzle pieces fit this self-made-up puzzle called my life.

 Chatham ,    I’m game.

"Take One for the Team"

The act of someone willingly making a sacrifice for the benefit of others.

That’s what it means, taking one for the team.  Willingly making a sacrifice to benefit others or one other if your team consists of the minimum requirement for a team.  The phrase has come into the forefront of the news lately with GOP candidate Rick Santorum saying he “took one for the team” in his decision to vote for something that he did not believe in.  His defense, “You know politics is a team sport folks”.  I’ve got news for you, Buddy,  IT’S ALL A TEAM SPORT!!!!!!  Yep, everything we do is a team sport (unless you truly ARE the only person on the planet!)  Every decision we make, every compromise, every sacrifice, every magnanimous gesture, every selfish act… involves someone else.  Our young men and women go off to fight wars.  No one wants to be told what to wear, what to eat, go to some God forsaken country and try not to be killed.  They take one for the team, us, the people who live in the United States.  We could call it a compromise.  They are provided with food, shelter, clothing, pensions, in exchange for the possibility of losing their lives…. No wait… that’s not a compromise.  That is a sacrifice.  They definitely “take one for the team” and I thank you men and women of the military for the sacrifices you make for us.

But I want to talk about something on a much more personal level, relationships.  I’ve heard the secret to a lasting relationship is compromise.  Hell, I’ve even said it myself!  But that’s not what I really mean.  I mean someone’s always going to have to take one for the team.  And “taking one for the team is not a compromise; it’s a sacrifice, for the benefit of the team.  A compromise is a settlement of differences by a mutual agreement.  So let’s say I want pasta, you want steak, we have chicken.  I’m not getting what I want, you’re not getting what you want but chicken is ok.  Oh, we can live alone and make most of our personal decisions but we still have to work within our team of co-workers, or neighbors, or family.   Eventually, most of us need to interact on a more intimate level.  That’s when we say things like “I love baseball, (when we don’t), spicy food (which gives us heartburn) and kittens (as long as they stay the hell off my lap!).  We say these things to indicate that we are willing to alter our preferences to build a team. Ultimately, as much as we want to do our own thing ALL the time, it will require some sort of sacrifice to get what we really want, companionship.  It’s not that much fun to get through this old world all by ourselves and that means that sometime, you’re going to do something that you really don’t want to do to insure that the team stays whole.  Just make sure that your team is willing to take one for you.    What is the most outrageous thing you have done to keep your team?

Thank you Kay Peebles!

Reunion?  Yeah, I’m going to go.  It’s my fill in the blank high school reunion.  There’s all sort of issues going on about cost and what are we paying for and “who decided that???”. But I’m going to go.  Because a reunion is just that.. to re-unite with the past.  We cannot keep all of our memories in our frontal cortex. Lots of the life we have been through thus far, resides deep in the back of our brains.  We hardly have any occasion to bring them forth because, really, the people that we meet today don’t really want to hear about our high school hi-jinx.  The people going to this reunion, well , they remember.  And even if they don’t, their minds will be jostled by the endless stories of days gone by. Everyone will remember things just a little bit different but the stories will be as true as though the events just happened. It’s not really about who has done what with their lives,  how much hair has been  lost, or how much weight has been gained… it’s about the re-telling of the stories of our youth.  It is about what shaped our warped little brains and how we came to be responsible adults. (most of us). It’s about the fun that we really can’t do any more, the “pushing of the envelope”  that could have put us in jail if we had been caught. I mean really? who didn’t have a drink before they were of age?  The fact that I threw up every time I drank does not negate the fact that I was trying to have a drink at 17 years old!  There are people that I have not seen in a very long time who shared those experiences with me.  I would like to spend some time with them.

But the person I would like to see the most is Kay Peebles.  I don’t think she is going because I don’t think she graduated with us.  But of all the people I went to school with, she had the greatest impact on me.  You see, my family moved to Schenectady the summer between my 7th and 8^th grade year.  I made lots of friends in the neighborhood that summer, playing “kick the can”, “hide and seek” and   walking to Friendly’s for ice cream.  But the first day of 8^th grade, they were all busy with their old friends and I sat down in the cafeteria to eat lunch by myself.  Kay Peebles came up to me and asked me to join her table.  It was the nicest thing that could have happened and I accepted with gratitude.  We lost track of each other in High School.  I didn’t really fit into to her niche; I didn’t really fit into anyone’s.  I wasn’t rich or super smart, I wasn’t nerdy or into sports.  I wasn’t extra pretty or hard core.  I was just me and I found friends who were just like me… just , you know, pretty regular. I had a great time in High School.  But I will never forget Kay Peebles and what she gave to me, the understanding of acceptance and the chance to offer compassion when I can.  THANK  YOU  KAY PEEBLES   wherever you are!!!

Who do you remember most?  Who would like to re-connect with?  Why?

the only person on the planet

The Only Person on The Planet

She leaves the cart right in the middle of the aisle so she can read some labels!  Doesn’t she know I need to get past her???? No she doesn’t.  She thinks she’s the only person on the planet!!  Yes, I read labels too but I’m a nutrition counselor and I need that information for my clients. Sheeeesh!   Then I get in the express lane and the person in front of me clearly has more than 12 items!  I didn’t actually count mine and maybe there’s like 13 items… ok, maybe 14 or 15 but not 20!!!!  “Don’t worry about it buddy.. I’m in no hurry!”   “And I’m sorry… Are you wearing Jammies?”  What planet did that become dress code?  And no.. these are NOT jammies.  They’re SWEATS from working out (yesterday)   I’m way more considerate of my fellow man/woman.  When I walk to the store.. I’m so considerate that it takes me way longer to get anywhere being so considerate of lawns and stuff like that.  Well, actually, it takes me longer because I’m looking down, mostly for money.  If I find some, I look up quick to make sure no one sees me put it in my pockets.  (you know just in case someone just dropped it)  especially quarters for the laundry.  And that’s another whole ball of wax (what does that mean anyway “ball of wax”? and did I make that up because I do that sometimes with old sayings).  Laundry.. ok, how am I supposed to get MY laundry done if you have left yours in the washer????  I would never do that except last night when I got caught up watching The Voice.   

You see in my world, Cathie’s Planet, I am by far the most considerate person there is.  I rule Cathie’s Planet and I can do whatever I want, being thoughtful of course, when it suits me. Of course, I’m the only person on Cathie’s Planet.  We all live in our own little worlds and we make our own rules to justify our actions. I really do try to be considerate most of the time but I am certain that I too hav e left the cart in the middle of the aisle.  Not on purpose, mind you, just because I wasn’t thinking of you or anybody else for that matter.  I was in Cathie’s Planet, which can get kind of lonely sometimes.  So I invite you all to my planet.  We will be nice to each other ALL the time.  We will always think of one another before we do anything.  And when you just get caight up in things, you can go back to your own little planet and forget to use your turn signal.  It’s ok.  I understand and I won’t swear at you. (ok, I probably will, but you won’t hear it on your planet.

I'm Funny

Jerry Lewis said “women aren’t funny”.  But I’m funny.  Ok, not everyone thinks I’m funny. I’ve been in relationships with men who don’t think I’m funny.  But I’ve had a few who get me,  who actually laugh out loud, for a long time.  I like those guys better.  They make me laugh too.  We play off each other and our time together is spent laughing.  Most of my women friends get me  and my family… well that’s like some ridiculous comedy festival when we get together!   We’re all funny,  well, at least we think we are.  But this isn’t about me.  It’s about Penny on the Big Bang Theory.  I don’t even know her real name but I appreciate her comedic talent.  She’s awesome!  And then I think about all the other rather unsung women of comedy. I watched Lucy as a little girl, just like everyone in the country but I don’t think I really appreciated her true talent.  I was too little.  As the format of sit-coms became more prevalent in our T.V. viewing, it  became obvious to me that it was the woman characters who truly made the show. Those guys on the Big Bang Theory would just be 4 nerdy people without Penny.  She makes them human and lovable and funny in their eccentric lives.  Ray Romano’s wife (Patricia Hearnes) made that show and most of us don’t even remember her characters name. Will & Grace.. without a doubt Karen (Megan Mullally) was one of the best comedic characters of all time. Look back over your history of TV watching and think of the women who made you laugh every week.  Betty White, Mary Tyler Moore, Valerie Harper, Marlo Thomas, Phylicia Rashad, Penny Marshal, Cindy Williams, Bea Arthur, Kirstie Alley, Julia Louis Dreyfuss, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jennifer Anniston, Courtney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Sarah Silverman… the list goes on and on.  And that’s just women in sit coms!  We haven’t even started with stand ups!!

 Women are funny.   I’m funny.. sometimes and only to the people that get me. Oh and the woman who plays Penny on the Big Bang Theory, .. her real name is Kaley Cuoco.  It’s worth knowing.

Are you funny?  Do you know funny women?  Who was your favorite woman in a TV comedy show?

Kaleidoscopes

Remember Kaleidoscopes?  Did you have one?  We went to the most amazing place today.  There is a Kaleidoscope Store in Mt. Tremper NY (which is in between Woodstock and Kingston). You can look through them all!!  They have Kaleidoscopes worth several thousand dollars and some that cost $2.  The very nice woman working in the store was telling us about how they were made, the artist, whether there were 2 mirrors or 3.  Honestly, I don’t really care how they were made because when I look into one, I am lost in its’ shifting colors and patterns and glitter and lights. And it is Magic,  Pure Magic.  In the old days, a kaleidoscope made a little noise when you turned it as all the pretty little colored things fell into a new position. Today, many of them are filled with a gelatinous substance which causes the pretty colored to always be in continuous motion. I like those best because I get lost , truly lost in the looking.  I have a small one at home.  It was a gift I had given my Mom to thank her for showing me the, sweet, simple beauty in our everyday world.  When she passed away, I brought that kaleidoscope home with me.

They have the biggest one in the world too but we did not see that one today.  It is in a barn silo.  I have seen it before and was, frankly, not impressed. It’s big, I’ll give you that, but there is something so personal about looking through the eye of a Kaleidoscope that is lost in a bigger venue.  Have you ever looked in one, saw the most beautiful color pattern and tried to share it with someone?  Doesn’t happen.  Because it changes as you move it.  Oh, the person sees something very beautiful but not what you saw.  Kind of like everything in life. We see through our own eyes and our perceptions are our own.  That is why it is so important to share ideas.  Not because we will see things the same way as each other but because we will see things that we never saw before.

I think that I would like to collect Kaleidoscopes.  I have never collected anything (except maybe shoes and that’s not the same thing).  I have my Mom’s to start me off. I saw one today that could be my next addition but it cost $300 and it will truly need to be a celebration to rationalize that one!  But I can see myself, once a year going to the Kaleidoscope Store to pick out one, just one, every year.  What a collection to share with you.  For you to find magic when you come to visit me, for you to slow down for a few moments and experience magic in the sweet, simple, beauty of our everyday world.

 What do you collect to show others, make you smile, to help you remember?

It kicked my butt!!!!

That’s pretty hard for me to say.  “It kicked my butt”!  Not because I think I’m some superwoman but  because I very seldom tackle a challenge that I don’t think I can handle, and I think I can handle a lot!

It was an exercise video on the Dr. Oz show.  It was just 15 minutes long.   I can do ANYTHING for 15 minutes (I thought). But it kicked my butt.  I could not believe that I actually could not continue the full routine.  It was JUST 15 minutes!!!  So when did this happen?  My inability to do what I think I can do? We just head on into our lives doing what we can, thinking we can do a whole bunch of things, only to find out that there comes a times when really… that’s not the case. Ok, I’m not as young as I used to be.  So what?  I’m healthy, I’m me.  I can do stuff.  Just not as much stuff! This is not a fun moment in my life.  It did happen once before.  I was just 39 years old and my new boyfriend took me hiking in the Adirondacks.   I thought I was in good shape.  I’d been doing country dancing a couple of times a week.  My job was pretty physical and I thought a mountain… “No problem”  I don’t remember the mountain.  I just remember not being able to breath! But I was a smoker then.  So I quit smoking and then I could climb mountains.  My situation now is different.  The exercise kicked my butt because I’m old and there ain’t no quitting that process.  It is really quite disheartening to realize this.  I can try to eat right, exercise, do all that good stuff and still… I’m not as young as I used to be. Now, I’m going to push through that damn exercise video.  I’m still going to try every day for the next 28 days.  Not for any other reason than because I hate admitting defeat.. no matter how old I get.  I’m just going to have to be waaaay more careful in the future to select new activities that I actually know I can do!

Has it happened to you yet?  What was the challenge and what did you do about it? Do you think anything is possible know matter your circumstances?  If so tell me why you think that way