"You are arrogant"

Well, not you.. me.  After six years of wedded bliss, my second husband had a life altering revelation about his sexual orientation.  He thought we might need some counseling to get through the emotional turmoil sure to follow.  So I said ok.  The therapist immediately said that she wanted to work with me alone. She kept saying “I know how angry you must be” in spite of the fact that I wasn’t angry.. I was sad. She told me I was strong.  I told her that I believed in choice of actions and I choose to move through this.  I then said  “if you believe in choice.. why would anyone choose to stay in a place of pain?”  That’s when she called me arrogant.  I didn’t think I was getting any help here so I stopped going.  She called me arrogant.  Now I’m a lot of things, stubborn, self-righteous, feisty, but I never considered myself “arrogant” until last night.

Getting through this thing called life can be tough.  We’ve all been through some hard times. And we mostly find ways to survive. I have sought out the “survivor” in the people that I meet because it is a characteristic I value greatly. “How did you make it through?” has always been a fascinating conversation to me.  I have had little patience or compassion for those that remain a “victim” of life. I have said “yeah, I know, life’s a bitch now what are you going to do about it?” I have worked with children with disabilities and pushed them through their fears to achieve new levels of success. But last night, I realized that I am arrogant.  I watched the evening news and the leading story was a crime so incomprehensible that it will haunt me forever.  Sometimes, things of such unspeakable violence happens to innocent people. Sometimes such unfathomable sorrow befalls a person that life becomes an unwanted burden.  Sometimes the tools necessary to overcome the injustice have been so completely stripped away that climbing out of hell is simply not an option.

So today, I give my utmost thanks to God for this life that live, I ask the Universe to forgive my arrogance, and I promise to be more understanding and compassionate. (but I’m still probably going to be feisty)

Sometimes I write for fun, sometimes for a response, and sometimes just to put my thoughts to pen, but always… always I write from my heart.  Thank you for reading and becoming a part of my world.