My son spent the weekend with us. Well, not the whole weekend, just enough time to have dinner,and drop off his little family guy for me to babysit. Anyway, he mentioned to my boyfriend, Joe, during a private conversation, that I was much "calmer"...... very long pause...... I'm sure that there was a bit more following that comment but I was not privy to the exchange. You see, Joe has only seen "the storm" three times (and only twice was it directed to him) He dosen't want to see it again. He added no futher commentary to me on my "calmness".
So.. I start thinking about what my son THINKS I used to be like???? Did he think of me as some sort of raging maniac? OK, I'll admitt it.. there have been a few times when the actions of my sons have instigated a torrent of verbiage mostly starting with "What in Gods name where you THINKING?????" But really... I was calm most of the time! Having three sons does change a person... I have super powers I never dreamed of, because, seriously, unless you are of a saintly nature or on some major mind altering drugs... you're gonna lose it a few times with 3 sons! And they're not going to think your very "calm"
So I start thinking about other people, other than my sons, and wonder what they really think of me. Very often, when I run into someone I haven't seen in awhile, they inverably say "Wow... You've lost some weight!!" Which would be very cool if I had actually lost weight.. but I haven't. I pretty much weigh the same as I did in high school give or take a couple of pounds. What does this mean? Only that people have the perception of me that I'm kinda chubby and are surprised when I'm not.
Recently, I had dinner with one of my nutrition clients. Upon seeing me in a social situation with fun clothes on, she said... "Wow" (again "wow") "I didn't realise you were so.... long pause.... "cute". I smiled. She didn't mean "cute" she meant short. People??? The words "cute" and "short" are not interchangeble!
I just went to my 40th high school reunion. some people said.. "Cathie, you look exactly the same as you did in high school!!!" What did they mean... short and chubby???? and when I look into the mirror... I do not see a 58 year old woman. I see waaaaaay younger than that! But I know.. I do not look like I did in High School... I look 40 years older. Joe went to High School with me and he looks NOTHING like he did, he looks way better. People were dropping their jaws in surprise as they read his name tag. Makes you wonder how they saw him back then.
How the worlds see us is very different that what we think we are projecting. I had no idea you all thought I was a feisty, sort of chubby, short, kind of cute old person. Well, maybe you're right. but if you don't mind.. the next time we meet could you just go easy on me... this calm thing is pretty nice.
I would take appearing "calm" as a compliment, serene and without stress sure beats a concerned inquiry, "you look tired, how are things going?"
ReplyDeleteNew Law, when making observations of people over 50 years old, no comment should ever follow the two words..."you look"... ummm well.. unless of course it's "damned good" or "marvelous"
And so Cathie, I think "you look marvelous!"
How about, "Oh, I didn't recognize you!" I agree with the other comment that saying how tired someone looks is no help. Anyway, not having anything to compare with, having only met you recently, I think you are very nice, friendly, cute (short like me), and hard working, and that it's great that your son thinks you are calmer than before. Of course -- he's not a toddler or teenager any more...
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