Valentines’ Day
How many times have we truly been in love? How many of us bought into the “happily ever after” scenario only to find out that we’re not that happy? And tried again? And sometimes… again?
I don’t know about you but I’m having trouble with the whole idea!
I have loved with my whole heart and I have been whole heartedly loved, but they haven’t exactly lined up together. And I think that it is my own doing. Now don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I think I am unlovable. It’s just that left to my own devices… I’m probably going to screw it up somehow. It might be my expectations are too high. Ok, it’s definitely that my expectations are too high. Why is that? Is it because of some fairy tale version we have been fed about what is right and moral? Is it because none of us can live up to our own idealized avatar of how we present ourselves? To find someone who allows us our frailties, loves us anyway and chooses to stand beside us is a true blessing. But with this treasured gift comes the responsibility of returning the favor. This is where I have the most trouble. It is great power to have someone love you truly. It is sometimes difficult to remember that the “power” comes with a price. To accept the love of another.. we must be ready, willing and able to return that love. In which case, the power shifts. The “power” becomes an entity that is acknowledged and locked away, only to be used for the good of the true connection. For example, if one of the two is doing something dangerous, that puts the whole in jeopardy, well, then the “power” is invoked to gain ground in stopping the dangerous act. But often the “power” is used in a selfish way to get our childish way about things. This is detrimental to a loving relationship. Loving is the easy part, accepting love may be the most challenging assessment of our true nature.
Tonight, on this Valentine’s Day , I am truly loved by a good man. I feel the burden of my past failures. I know that he will forgive the misuse of the power that he has given me. I hope that I have come far enough on my journey to honor his gift. He is worth it. I am worth it.
When I ask him if he is happy (after 21 years together) he says he is content. At first I was confused by his statement. He explains he has everything he needs (a job, a place to live, food) and me to share it with so he is content.
ReplyDeleteAfter much pondering when I should be sleeping I figure it out. Being content with what you have IS HAPPINESS. Being jealous because the grass is greener on the other side is counterproductive and makes you miserable. Someone (on TV or elsewhere) is always going to look happier or be richer etc. That doesn't matter as long as someone you care about wants to share their life with you. So I say to all of you: Be content. It equals happiness.